Just the other day, I was thinking, how incredible it is to have friends who are mothers’.
…you can relate with them, throw around ideas on coping with different life stages, or get honest advice from someone who has been in your shoes. The sense of not being alone as a mother is vital, and having this in a friendship is priceless.
On the other hand, these relationships between mothers can also be faulty. I’m finding myself in a continual battle, being forever reminded that every child is different. You hear their milestone stories and you can’t help but stack your babes up, ensuring they are matching up to others. You worry, you analyze and over think.
Not cool folks, not cool at all.
I’m putting myself out there right now, telling you all that I judge my child’s progress on others. I am sure I am not alone. And although this is not horrible, I have finally figured out what this all means, as it actually has NOTHING to do with my child. It means I am human. It means I have a fear of failing my child, not giving them enough to succeed in life. It means the issue lays within me. The fear itself has nothing to do with our children and their life’s progress and everything to do with ourselves and how we are doing as parents.
From today on Sofia will be stacked up to nobody, measuring success does not have to do with comparing against others. I have complete faith and confidence that I am doing all I can as a mother to ensure she is on her best life’s path, first with being loved and cared for unconditionally and giving her all she needs to discover and challenge herself daily.
I am the best mother for Sofia.
Amen to that! You are the best mother for your own child! No one knows them like you do.
I too have been struggling with this. As well as the effects of others judgements on my own child. Learning to take things with a grain of salt.
Love the photo of all the girls together at the top.
THANK YOU — thank you for commenting seconds after I hit post. WHY? because I am nervous to put myself out there. I’m nervous about being judged. But those nerves fizzled down to nothing after reading your message.
Regina Partain says
HI Tairalyn. Good post. You are so right. Your child’s progress only needs to be measured by your child’s progress. Compare her growth to where she was and where she is, not to someone else. It is an easy trap to fall into and I am sure just about every parent has done so, especially on their first child.
You are doing great. Just love her and enjoy every minute of her precious life.
Thank you Regina!
It’s good to know I am not alone, the battle is not fun. But when you see it happening it easy to fix.
True… and is the same for adults too isnt it? We should be in competition/ measured to no-one else but our own selves.
Love and a big HI from India,
So true Meghna — it’s a shame we feel the need to stack ourselves up against one another when we are all so very different.
Thanks so much for coming by and leaving some love.
Great post Tara. I totally agree. We are always comparing our children and ourselves to other mothers and kids and it does no one any good. We are the best mother for our kids. Great post.
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