Go ahead! Call me an EMOTIONAL WRECK you guys…. but do you ever do this?
Do you find yourself crying over things that could’ve been? Like a child you may have never had?!
Lately I’ve been going back and thinking what if (it’s a very dangerous place). Letting my mind go to a place of what “could’ve been” royally sucks. Just a few weeks ago I thought about how life has changed since having Stella and I was quick to remind myself how crazy I was for thinking that we thought we were done after one. Sofia had my heart, she kept us busy, we were getting into the swing of things as a family and we all found our places in our little tribe; it felt amazing.
I thought this was us, I thought our lives would be as a family of three; but then we had Stella.
I CRIED at the thought of not having her in our lives. Literally UGLY FACE cried over what could’ve, should’ve and would’ve been had we just kept on the way we were going. That’s scary guys… and I don’t mean the ugly crying (we all know that’s frightening), but the thought of not having one of your children. NEW FLASH! Trust me on this one, whatever you do don’t let you mind go there, it hurts like no other.
We had our reasons to think we were done after one, our BIG BREAK into parenting was not an easy one for us. We were not sure we could do it again, not sure we wanted to do it all over again. But we did… and the very thought of not having this little girl in our lives breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Going to have chocolate now… and a BIG ‘OL cuppa tea… and watch something hilarious on Netflix. #cantgothere